Indecision, Haunt Me No More

Photo by JR Korpa on Unsplash

There is a constant tug of war inside my head.  I attempt to wait it out, but the longer my patience is forced to tolerate it, the louder it becomes.  It is as though there is a speaker system lodged inside my skull, and it constantly repeats the question: Are you sure?

Are you sure you turned off the oven?

Are you sure you locked the front door?

Are you sure you want another kiss?

Are you sure you are ready to take on this project?

Are you sure you are strong enough?

It wears me down at all levels, the erosion being quick and effective.  It is the insidiousness of indecision.  What is to be done when one is rooted down by the sheer multitude of the possibilities set before them?

I admit that sometimes indecision makes my hands shake, makes me stand in place as I feel some intangible force pulling me in two opposite directions simultaneously.  I try to breathe, to remind myself that I am strong, that I am capable, and that – Yes, I did lock the front door.

No need to check again to be sure, again.

This kind of indecision is, my experience, a cornerstone of anxiety disorder.  It turns your self-preservation instinct against you, makes you constantly question the decisions you have made, and makes it nigh impossible to make decisions when faced with them.

It is a deliciously awkward experience at best, and at worst can be completely terrifying as it takes you spiraling into a panic at the exhaustive list of things that could go very wrong.

What do you do ward off indecision?  Is this something you contend with or have you blessedly avoided these experiences thus far?  Let me know in the comments!


The mentally ill know.
.     .    .   .  . ……………………….to imagine beyond………………………. . .  .   .    .      .

Do you have any questions you’ve been dying to ask me or any mental health topics you want me to cover? Do you have any comments or suggestions?  Let me know in the comments below!

I would love to share my experience with you! Get in touch with me if you are interested in hosting me as a speaker for your Mental Health workshop, conference, or other event.

Follow me on Twitter @akaclouise, on Instagram @aka.clouise on Facebook at/AKA.CLouise!

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